Time
by Amarie1
Summary: Written for the Burping Troll's "He Falls" challenge. Boromir's fall from grace.


Time

By Deby

I kneel. Paralyzed by pain yet incredibly at peace. I await my fate; knowing whatever befalls me will be just. I have failed. Failed Frodo, and the others, by dishonoring my vow to the Fellowship, for what I attempted to do to Frodo. And Merry and Pippin, my friends, whom I failed by what I could not do. They are captives and I, alone, bear the blame.

All too clearly I see the past. The mists and shadows that once turned my father from the path of truth and honor had also clouded my way, yet not my brother's. Ah, Faramir, I should have paid more heed to your warnings. Still I cannot blame Denethor for my actions. I possessed choice and free will, both of which I used poorly.

I can pinpoint the very moment I became lost, when Frodo placed the Ring on the pedestal. In my folly I tried to claim it as a gift, a weapon to be used against the Dark Lord to turn the tide to our favor and use his power against him. When they made the decision was made to destroy it, I bowed to the will of the council. With my own lips I vowed to help the Ringbearer on his path. Fool!

I thought I had conquered my initial desire and forced my will to the greater good. Except at night, in my dreams, anonymous voices called out to me. In the morning I could only recall snatches, words, 'Boromir, Gondor, glory and victory'. I paid little attention to it. The firstborn son of Denethor, Steward of Gondor, my duty, my vows came first; I would not be corrupted by evil.

Then befell the moment on the mountain, trudging up a steep slope to the pass of Caradhros. Frodo stumbled; only Aragorn stopped him from rolling willy-nilly down to the bottom. At my feet sunlight glinted off a metallic object. As in my dreams, I heard my name. I held the chain and the Ring swayed.

Everything around me ceased to exist. Only the Ring and I remained.

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing . . . such a little thing."

From the tone of his voice, Aragorn must have called my name more than once. As he commanded, I gave the Ring back to Frodo, hoping the others would not see my reluctance to part with it. I made some inane comment that I can no longer recall and patted Frodo on the head like a puppy whose bone I had taken and then returned.

A cancer crept into my soul that day or maybe it had been there all along, waiting for that day at the Council to burst forth and begin eating away at my heart and will. Either way, I could no longer pretend that I did not desire the Ring, at least not to myself.

How long I was able to fool the others, I will never know. I did not deceive the Lady Galadriel, yet she held out a ray of hope: my last chance to be the man I had been born to be. That chance I threw away as the darkness gnawed at me.

The further south we headed, the more difficult it became to hide my hunger. Frodo was the first to start watching me strangely. He stayed close to Sam and avoided me as much as possible. At one point I argued with Aragorn, trying to convince him the road to Minas Tirith was the best. Strike out from a place of strength I told him. Looking back, he must have seen something in my eyes for he told me he would not take the Ring within a hundred leagues of my city. My city. Only days before it had been 'our city'.

The woods have grown silent. I no longer hear the pounding feet of the Uruk-hai nor the cries of the hobbits. I hear my wheezing breath; one of the arrows must have punctured a lung. My heartbeat no longer reverberates in my ears. I'm dying. Iron shod feet swim into my field of vision and I force my eyes to travel upwards.

Liquid hate oozes from the soulless orbs like tears. How did Saruman breed such an intense emotion into the fell creatures? I concentrate on the yellow eyes as best I can. It makes it possible to ignore the bow being drawn, though I cannot ignore the arrow. As he lifts to aim, the slender bit of wood and metal joins our gaze.

I will not look away. This is my punishment and I will meet it without flinching. If only I had time to ask forgiveness. Time to tell Aragorn I understand now. Time to tell my brother I love him and to beware. Time.

finis


End file.
